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Damilola Tobi – On the Journey to Letting Go of the Past

The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.

Before you can let go of the past, you need to be able to forgive yourself and by so doing you need to allow yourself to feel remorse.

Guilt is not continually an awful component. It permits you to consider effects, feel empathy for others, and to look for ways to enhance yourself. The key is to allow your self to experience remorse without dwelling on unhealthy guilt.

Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.

Here are a few simple and practical ways of letting go of the past:

– Decide to let it go.

Things don’t disappear on their own. You want to commit to “let it pass.” If you don’t make this aware choice up-front, you could end up self-sabotaging any attempt to transport on from this past hurt.

It starts with you to let go, not someone else but yourself.

– Express your pain.

Express the ache the hurt made you sense, whether it’s immediately to the alternative person, or through just getting it out of your machine (like venting to a pal, or writing in a journal, or writing a letter you by no means send to the opposite man or woman). Get all of it from your gadget at once. Doing so will even help you recognize what — particularly — your harm is about.

This is super helpful.

– Stop blaming others.

Being the victim feels proper — it’s like being at the prevailing group of you against the sector. But guess what? The international in large part don’t care so that you need to recover from yourself. Yes, you’re unique. Yes, your feelings depend. But don’t confuse with “your emotions remember” to “your feelings must override all else, and not anything else topics.” Your emotions are just one part of this large thing we call life, that’s all interwoven and complicated. And messy.

In every second, you’ve got that choice — to preserve to feel terrible approximately some other man or woman’s moves or to begin feeling excellent. You need to take obligation in your happiness, and now not positioned such energy into the palms of another man or woman. Why could you let the person who hurt you — inside the beyond — have such power, right here, right now?

– Focus on the present.

Now it’s time to let go. Let go of the past, and stop reliving it. Stop telling yourself that story where the protagonist — you — is for all time the victim of this different character’s horrible movements. You can’t undo the past, all you could do is to make today the best day of your life.

The spotlight is yours, there is no better time to Live your best life than now. While at it, let go of the past and enjoy every moment.

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