I watched Sarah Jakes Roberts today and in the video, she talked about how everything must go. How distraction must go, how disappointments must go, how heartbreak must go, the list goes on and on.
Her sermon ministered to me and I was inspired to write this article.
Over the years, I have held on to something that keeps holding me back especially in the area of loving someone completely. My first relationship broke me, I was pained, distressed, disappointed. I got totally down because I was broken and afterwards, I found it hard to love completely.
Before the sermon of Sarah, I had already spoken to God about forfeiting everything and letting everything pass because I believe I deserve better also I believe God has something better in stock for me. I surrendered all to God because I told myself I don’t want to continue like this anymore. All the confession started before my current relationship. I told God I want everything to go and he heard me.
The truth is, we need to let go of everything that’s holding us back maybe it’s anxiety, insecurity, depression or a toxic relationship, we must let it go and allow God do the rest. Whether you like it or not, the process starts with you.
For me, I found it so difficult to let go. I remember when my ex sent me a message asking for my forgiveness. I was able to forgive him but I still held on to everything he did to me. How do I finally let go? How do I become a better person? How do I allow God to work through me? Let’s find out…
I stop blaming my ex.
Blaming my ex for what he did to me was the first thing I did and I will say that’s one of the reasons my relationship with the other guy didn’t work out. I also flare up at every little thing the other guy did, especially when he does something that reminds me of my ex. I just get angry and I will be like ‘Hey, I am done’ But blaming someone else for our hurt is not a good thing to do. You just need to lay everything down at the master’s feet and let him do the work in you. So, I allowed ‘Blame’ to go.
I focus on the present
Now it’s time to let go. Let go of the past, and stop reliving it. I stop being the victim of awful past. I know I can’t undo the past, all I can do is to make today the best day of my life. I also make the conscious effort every day to be happy. As at that point, I wasn’t looking for happiness in a relationship, all I wanted was to be myself and to be happy.
I realize that when you focus on the here and now, you have less time to think about the past. When the past memories creep into your consciousness (as they are bound to do from time to time), acknowledge them for a moment. And then bring yourself gently back into the present moment. Some people find it easier to do this with a conscious cue, such as saying to yourself, “It’s alright. That was the past, and now I’m focused on my own happiness and doing just going to be fine.”
Remember, if we crowd our brains and lives with hurt feelings, there’s little room for anything positive. It’s a choice you’re making to continue to feel the hurt, rather than welcoming joy back into your life.
I forgive myself and him
We may not have to forget another person’s bad behaviours, but virtually everybody deserves our forgiveness. Sometimes we get stuck in our pain and our stubbornness, we can’t even imagine forgiveness. But forgiveness isn’t saying, “I agree with what you did.” Instead, it’s saying, “I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway.” That was the situation I was with my ex. I forgave him because of the person who created me; God.
Forgiveness isn’t a sign of weakness. Instead, it’s simply saying, “I’m a good person. You’re a good person. You did something that hurt me. But I want to move forward in my life and welcome joy back into it. I can’t do that fully until I let this go.”
I want you to please let everything that hinders your happiness to go. Let old things go so new things can come.