Breakups shouldn’t ruin everything!
No one is foreign to the topic of “Break Ups”. Breakups are not the end just the signifying the end of a relationship between lovers. But some breakups aren’t handled so well. Some breakups are said to be harsh but is there really anything such as a nice breakup? True, some ways in which a partner calls a relationship to an end can be uncalled for, embarrassing, shocking, and hurting. Not everyone recovers from a breakup due to the ways and mannerism at which the relationship comes to end, the time spent in creating a bond between partners; months, years, the amounts of emotions and feelings invested in the relationship, and some hurt more because of several breakups.
The hurt from every breakup differs, some don’t even feel a thing and just hop into another while for some it takes just one relationship to cause a breakdown and alter their perspective and thinking.
Break Ups tend to leave some people miserable, broken and for fresh breakups, thinking and overthinking, leaving them hurting and curling into their formed shell and making lots of visible changes to themselves. Some drown in self-pity. These thoughts and hurt sleeps and stays and when you think you’d be fine it sneaks up in your thoughts like an evil surprise, leaving such an individual, broken!
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY! AND YOU CAN CHANGE IT!!
Look, the mind is a very powerful place, and what you feed it can affect you in a very powerful way. Take a moment to think for a moment. You need to change your perspective first to get over a breakup, if you keep telling yourself you can’t move on, you’d never be able to move on. You’d remain in love alone, one that’s long gone, feelings that you won’t know you don’t have anymore. Your mind will lure you back with memories that should remain memories because of what you’ve fed it. Entertain your mind with new things, the future. Feed your mind with something different and you’re a step closer to that breakup.
A relationship is like a bumpy road of the unpredictable. No one wishes or prepares for a breakup neither is it expected. Stop blaming yourself! Drowning one’s self in self-pity isn’t good for mental, psychological, emotional, and even physical health. Wallowing in self-pity can quickly escalate to self-hatred. It slowly begins to creep into the mind and takes away self-respect and reduces self-esteem, with self-esteem down the drain, a person can easily be pushed around. You shouldn’t keep blaming yourself or belittling yourself rather know you could have a better future with someone else. You should know there are lots of people out there who would love to have you as a partner.
SEE THE POSITIVITY THAT COMES WITH
This may seem unusual, how can a break up be positive? There is the positivity that comes with every breakup but it’s overshadowed by the hurt. Think of it, before you got into that relationship, you had some things you liked to spend your time on, you had goals, aims, or resolutions, some of it you had to forfeit for the benefit of your relationship. You accepted the relationship as a part of your world, not the other way around. Sure, being in a relationship would affect certain areas of your life but it’s your life you can adjust and readjust it as you please. A relationship shouldn’t set the drive, you once introduced it into your life can also be scrapped out without your world crashing down.
Some think a lot would really change after a breakup but if you actually look, you’d notice the change isn’t so much, you still have companionship from friends and family. A break up shouldn’t be a breakdown. Overlook the negativity and shed some light on the positivity!!!
IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?
Is the break up really worth shutting down the rest of your life? Taking a quick review and road down the relationship you’d realize it’s not worth it. Don’t put your life on hold for a past that might merely a memory to the other person, why don’t you see it as a reason to be a better version of yourself, progress, cause who knows you might just run into your EX again. Do you want to wow and amaze your Ex and make him or her feel nervous to talk to you and talk to you with regard and respect or do you want to be tagged as just an Ex? Of course, breakups hurt but move on with it and focus on you and not the hurt from a failed relationship. It’s never worth it if it costs you your happiness.
LET THE PAIN GO
Sometimes, moving on from the relationship or from the person is not the problem, sometimes it’s moving on from the pain that becomes an issue for some persons. It’s one thing to move on from the relationship and another from the pain, that’s why you hear statements like, ” I’ll never love again, Love was ruined for me, Love is just a fairytale”. They hardened up and created a wall around themselves and went into shells, in other words, personality change due to the pain of a breakup.
More so, pain is a dangerous thing to feed to the mind let alone harbor it and creating a place for it to pitch its tent. To them, love becomes another stupid mistake or a tale of boy meets girl and it ends in destruction. It shouldn’t be so.
In Addition, to fully move on from a breakup, that pain, hurt, and anger has to be revisited and let go. Forgive the person or persons involved especially when it involved cheating, betrayal, etc. The pain will lure you and keep you back in the memory of that relationship and no matter how forward you go, it’ll still remain a sore topic and stick just like a leech. Let the pain go for more peace and happiness, you may even find true love and companionship and a relationship that’ll last forever once you let go. At times, it takes losing something to gain everything.
LIMITING CONTACT WITH YOUR EX
It’s not unheard of that some people still choose to remain in contact with their EX. Although some believe, “Friends can become lovers can’t really become friends” while some think otherwise. It’s advisable to limit contact with your EX or possible cut ties for a while and you can decide whether you can cope with being in contact or not. Not everyone can keep a platonic relationship with an EX, there might be a dent in the friendship. Keeping in contact with your EX won’t help get rid of those feelings easier or deal with the hurt that comes with.
More so, being in contact with your EX can continue to spark up feelings you’re trying to suppress. It’s one of the reasons why it’s no surprise that some in a relationship still have feelings for their EX. Trying to move on, limit contact with your EX for the time being till you’re totally over the breakup.
These steps are more appropriate and better than other solutions that could further hurt you such as
•Ignoring the feelings and pretending, it’ll only resurface and keep hurting.
•Dating someone else to get rid of it, it’s unfair to the person you’re dating. And you’d feel guilty for hurting someone else. No one wants to be a rebound.
Breaks Ups won’t ruin everything when you deal with it.