No Big Deals That cost you your relationship
Relationships are always rosy at the beginning and the heat begins to stir up as it continues. As the relationship lengthens, partners begin to see contrasting behaviors from each other, some tolerable and others not so much. Every relationship has it’s pros and cons. The pecks and the pains that come with it. A relationship is very easy to get into but maintaining any building the relationship is where there’s a problem.
There are the usual Do’s and Don’ts in every relationship, things that should and shouldn’t be done to your partner or be present when in a relationship especially Marriage.
But Every relationship has its own specialty and uniqueness. Every relationship has its own unique beginning and the same way every relationship has it’s own common or also unique problem but some relationships have a very absurd end. Absurd in the sense that, what leads to the end of the relationship is a mundane or trivial matter.It’s very funny sometimes when you hear of a broken relationship due to things you term little like “lying, pretending, forgetting to do something, etc. But it’s not really funny but serious. Great Relationships can be at the feet of the most trivial and unimportant matter. Not only cheating and serious arguments or fighting affect relationships.
What you think is “No Big Deal” can intact turn out to be very serious and jeopardize the future of a long-lasting relationship. There are some things that go unnoticed in relationships that lay the foundation for the end of a future for a couple. These things are neglected because they look harmless and seem like “No Big Deals”, but they should be looked out for more than the normal catastrophic circumstances that life may throw at a relationship.
THE “NO BIG DEALS”
Misinterpretation of words or even actions wrongly is normal in every kind of relationship even down to platonic relationships such as friendships. Communication is very important in a relationship, not just communication but effective and constant communication but the problem is the understanding of what is being passed across. This small miscommunication Nd confusion can create turmoil in a relationship and lead to its end.
Serious discussions should be avoided over texts and chats. Phone calls will even be more preferred than texts. The tones or meaning of a statement or reason can be misinterpreted by one’s partner. Communication is everything and Miscommunication is a big deal. It may seem like something that can be sorted at first, but it does lead to other things that may lead a relationship to a bad place of no return. Miscommunication is unhealthy in every relationship. It might seem little or even irrelevant but it’s differently much of a big deal.
Little Gestures are Not so Little
The Little things matter! The gestures that you forget and consider as a “No big deal” can be the cause of an argument. Ever wondered about that moment she fell in love with you? Or why he or she choose you? Or that attraction that feels so warm and special? It’s the cause of the little things, that small smile, that awkward laugh you have, or a look, somethings you’d hardly narrow a love tale to.
That irrelevant small kiss you forgot to give your partner or difference in attitude or a little drift can lead to a rise in suspicion or doubt in a relationship, which is a sign of trouble.
Things tagged as little may be able to move a great relationship. Not calling up your partner or not leaving a text, forgetting to reply, ignoring, taking too long, they cause arguments and make a big mess in a relationship.
Few things that seem too little to make such a fuss over like an established relationship are what can ruin the relationship. Forgetting to do something you both agreed on, forgetting important occasions or events such as, birthdays, anniversaries, graduation ceremonies, being late to a date, especially if it’s a female can create a big fuss and pick up different other subjects and problems that you barely even noticed. The little things indeed matter. These little things and a lot more should be watched out for the most because they are the foundation of every love story.
It’s a bit absurd to learn that a relationship, especially a marriage ends because of Lies. Everyone is common with lies, the white lies, and all. We lie to cover up or get out of difficult situations or avoid getting caught or avoid hurting someone. But as they say, once you spill out a lie, the rest start flowing like you memorized it. And a sole lie can terminate a relationship including marriage. Yes, sounds surreal but true. Ever thought of what happens when the truth comes out? No matter how little the lie? From one lie to another, from lying it starts to go into other things. There shouldn’t be anything hidden from your partner and if at all there is, don’t lie about it. It’s simple to tell your partner, you don’t want to tell or you can’t disclose it, your partner will respect your decision and with the time you might be the one to finally spill the beans instead of lying. Lying leads you to things you never thought of doing that’ll put your relationship at risk. A little white lie can cost you the love of your life.
Sometimes your partner doesn’t just want you to know his or her interests in bed. What’s her favorite show or series? What’s his favorite football club? What’s her favorite Makeup or clothing brand? What’s his favorite Video game? All these seem like a “No big deal” but it makes the bond between partners stronger and unrelenting. It’s not enough to just know labor them but also fill in some interest to have little knowledge about it even when you have no interest in it. Surprise him by wearing a football jersey of his favorite club when the team is playing, in support. It may seem like nothing but you’ve done something. Take note of the colors and shades of makeup that fit her more and tell her, she’d be surprised and happy that you notice the small things about her. The bond will grow stronger when each partner knows about Nd supports each other’s interests.
We all have that close friend or best friend(s) that we entrust everything to. A close bond with someone or people you’ve grown so attached to over a period of time, creating a strong bond that is hard to let go of. All these bonds fall at the feet of your relationship with your partner, especially in marriage. A serious relationship is above those platonic relationships and therefore the happenings and ongoings in your relationship should be kept between you and your partner. It’s not neglecting your friends and family because you’re in a relationship, No, it’s keeping your relationship and if it’s marriage, keeping it sacred.
It’s quite exciting to be in a relationship and have people who want to hear the details on your relationship and even keep tabs but be careful of that “third party” who you slowly let into your personal matters. The disagreement s between you and your partner should remain between the two except in a case of violence and abuse. It’s a relationship between two people not three, don’t let someone be a part of your relationship or give someone space in your relationship in the name of “best friendship” or a close friend. You never know who is for you and against you. The details of your relationship should be kept in.
Disagreements are normal in a relationship, dragging a “third party” can stir up more confusion. A third party might rather complicate matters than dissolve it. A third party might intentionally or unintentionally send mixed signals or misconstrued information to your partner that may worsen the case. A third party is unhealthy for any relationship. It’s okay to seek advice or help from close friend s or family but putting them between you and your partner or fully involving them is taking a risk that can cost you your relationship. A third party may not be able to relay or communicate with your partner as well as you can and may end up causing more harm than good. No one should be put in the middle of you and your partner, there’s no need for a middle man in any relationship.
It’s in the nature of human beings to assume. We can’t help but assume or have our own perceptions about some things or people. Sometimes some or most of these assumptions we have are wrong and are just our own misconceptions. The opinions we have about people can turn out to be mere misconceptions but in a relationship, it may not be mere.
You shouldn’t have misconceptions about your partner even in the slightest things. Assumptions will always come and go but all assumptions should be clarified. Have few misconceptions about your partner may begin the rise of distrust and doubt, which shouldn’t be evident in a relationship. Every long-lasting relationship should be firm on trust. Misconceptions are common but should not be entertained for so long. When an assumption comes up about your partner, it’ll be best to discuss it than brood over it and then lead to misconceptions and then breed distrust and suspicion, giving room for other unhealthy breeding to take sit in a relationship.
These are just some of the things you may overlook and tag as a “No Big Deal”, which as a matter of fact are some of the reasons for some broken relationships we hear about. It sounds so impossible for little things to be the cause of a broken relationship. These “No Big Deals” are either the bedrocks or the trigger that can cost you your relationship.
By Eleanora Snow